New year is out the way and I'm finally starting to feel human again. You could say i got pretty wrecked NYE, most of the night is a blur and waking up cuddling someone i did not want to be has left me feeling pretty rubbish and raised my anxiety - this is why i shouldn't drink! I may have said some things i shouldn't have. The pint of wine straight after that morning definitely made me start to feel better again. I stayed at Abbie's drinking myself into oblivion new years day too. I dreaded coming home and sobering up. But i suppose after 48 hours of being on a bender it had to be done. And surprisingly i didn't feel as bad as i expected yesterday, apart from what felt like a broken finger and my vision being blurry all day I felt half human. I feel quite strange today, still cringing majorly but just pretending all's OK. The Klumps (new name for upstairs as they always seem to sound like elephants charging) pissed me off as per usual with their thumping all day so my musics blaring again, trying to sound them out. Its doing a pretty good job too so far.
So it's back to work tomorrow, back to reality. I feel like crying!! Why can't I win the lottery and just enjoy life! Although I'm sure I still wouldn't enjoy life but i think i would more than what i do now. Can't face the thought of work again, but on the up side its only Friday then i have the weekend again. Now I've said that I'm even dreading Monday now, back to working everyday 5 days a week, cant think of much worse right now. I mean they all seem nice at work but I haven't been there that long and it takes so long for me to feel comfortable with people and new places. Got to stop thinking all these negative thoughts.
I wonder whether I'm not as depressed as i usually would be after drinking so much is down to the fact I heard from my ex New years day, not the cheating one, well not that i know of. You know certain people that just give you that natural high. I didn't think i would give a crap about talking to him anymore and i don't think i want to get back with him but just hearing from him has secretly made me feel a little happy.
Think it will definitely be another day of settee and rubbish day time TV today, cant face the world yet. I am actually contemplating changing my number again just so no-one will be able to contact me for a week or so.. What is wrong with me?!
